Last Minute Holiday Shopping

Night before Christmas,
And all through the mall... they shop.
Ipod free-for-all!!

Related News Article: Merchants Hope Late Shoppers Save Season

Crime's Roller Coaster

Good news, crime is down!
But uh, you still might get killed.
At least your car's safe?

Related News Article: FBI Says Murder Rate Up, Crime Declines

I Spy, You Spy

Grammy Jane's phone tapped?
She's sharing her recipes.
Meatloaf... of terror!

Related News Article: Bush: spying program to continue

Celeb Splitsville

Newlyweds no more.
Nick & Jess file for divorce.
No prenup? Nick's screwed!

Related News Article: Simpson Files for Divorce From Lachey

Hukt on Inglish

Me don't know why not?
English not that hard to learn.
Me speak it greatly!

Related News Article: Survey finds 1 in 20 lack basic English skills

The Final Act?

The war on terror.
Senate defies the White House!
Patriots act out?

Related News Article: Patriot Act renewal blocked in Senate

Buggy Plan Screwed

Amish Sex Scandal?
Barn raising man pitches tent.
God smites hooker's greed.

Related News Article: Amish Man Lost Thousands in Sex Scam

US Ninja PR

USA US...
Wait a minute, this is France?!?!
Must... eat... freedom... fries.

Related News Article: Pentagon rolls out stealth PR

Fall From Grace?

Knocked down, and knocked up.
Skydive goes horribly wrong.
Survival times two!

Related News Article: Pregnant Skydiver Survives Face-First Fall

Ex-Pres Convalesces

92 Years old.
Former leader catches cold.
Pardon... his coughing.

Related News Article: Former President Ford Hospitalized

Rocking Chair Shortage?

Watch out Gen X'ers...
Geriatric Invasion!
Real life Logan's Run?

Related News Article: Crisis in elder care foreseen

Tea & Eggs

Two cups for your eggs?
Sip tea to avoid cancer.
Ovaries rejoice!

Related News Article: Study: Tea May Help Fight Ovarian Cancer

Midway & Beyond

Sliding past Midway.
Thrusters cannot be reversed.
Sadly, nor can death.

Related News Article: Reverse Thrusters Cited in Midway Accident

Iraq Votes

A vote for freedom?
Iraqis decide their fate.
U.S. holds its breath.

Related News Article: Some Iraqis Begin Voting Monday

Welcome

The day's news is vast.
For clarity I present,
Haiku News Network.